Feeling stuck? Why 'just get over it' doesn't work (and what actually helps)
- aimeebishopcounsel
- Jan 27
- 3 min read
Have you ever felt like you're watching your life from behind a glass wall? You can see where you want to be, but something invisible keeps holding you back. Then, to add insult to injury, someone cheerfully tells you to "just get over it" or "move on"—as if you hadn't thought of that yourself.
If you're nodding along, you're not alone. And more importantly, you're not alone in feeling this way.
The problem with "Just Get Over It"
"Just get over it."
Four little words that can feel like a punch to the gut when you're struggling. It's the emotional equivalent of telling someone with a broken leg to "just walk it off."
Not only is it unhelpful—it's potentially harmful.
Why? Because this kind of advice:
Dismisses the very real impact of your experiences
Suggests that your feelings are a choice rather than a natural response
Implies that if you're not "over it" you're somehow failing
The truth is, our brains and bodies are incredibly complex. They're designed to protect us, even when that protection no longer serves us. Those patterns you're struggling with are often the very things that helped you get through difficult times.
Understanding being "stuck"
Think of it like this: You're not actually stuck—you're paused. Your mind and body are waiting for evidence that it's safe to move forward. This isn't weakness; it's your survival instincts doing exactly what they're meant to do.
When we've experienced difficult relationships or trauma, our brains become like highly sensitive smoke alarms. They'd rather trigger twenty false alarms than miss one real threat. This means:
What feels like being "stuck" is often a protective response
Your resistance to change might be your mind's way of keeping you safe
These patterns developed for good reasons, even if they no longer serve you
So what does help?
Understanding your patterns
Start by getting curious about your responses rather than judging them. Ask yourself:
What does being "stuck" protect me from?
When did these patterns first develop?
What would need to feel different for movement to feel safe?
Small steps, not giant leaps
Change doesn't have to mean transforming everything overnight. In fact, gentle, gradual change tends to last longer. Try:
Setting tiny, achievable goals
Celebrating small victories
Building evidence that change is possible
Self-compassion as a foundation
Imagine speaking to a friend who's struggling. Would you tell them to "just get over it"? Probably not. You deserve that same gentleness. Practice:
Acknowledging your efforts
Recognising how far you've come
Treating yourself with the kindness you'd offer others
Finding the right support
While change is possible on your own, having support can make the journey easier. This might mean:
Connecting with others who understand
Working with a therapist who specialises in trauma
Building a network of people who believe in you
Moving forward
Change isn't a straight line. It's more like a dance: two steps forward, one step back, and sometimes a pause to catch your breath. That's not just okay—it's normal.
Remember:
Your feelings and responses make sense given your experiences
Being "stuck" is often a temporary pause, not a permanent state
Small, consistent steps create lasting change
You deserve support and understanding on this journey
When you're ready to take a step forward, remember that you don't have to see the whole path. Sometimes just knowing the next step is enough.
Ready for a different approach?
If you're ready for real understanding and change, you're not alone. Whether that means seeking professional support, connecting with others who understand, or simply being gentler with yourself, there are paths forward that honour your experience and pace.
You're not stuck because you're doing something wrong. You're paused because your mind and body are waiting for evidence that it's safe to move forward. And that evidence can be built, one small step at a time.
Need support? Contact me to arrange a free and confidential chat.